Reznor’s vocals pierce through the reverb as another nail is hammered into U2’s tax-evading coffin of irrelevance.

Let’s straighten one thing out: U2 are awful, and no song attests to this more conclusively than Zoo Station off '91's Achtung Baby. Kicking off with Gang of Four-esque ominous promise that points to something good, it swiftly explodes into a cacophony of could-only-be-fucking-U2 melody (bad), laden with The Edge’s favourite (only?) trick: GUITAR FXXXX. Bono’s voice then proceeds to swim through yet another murky effect as he performs his own favourite (only?) trick: raising his voice in an uplifting manner at the end of every word. An obligatory “ooh” delivered in a gut-wrenching falsetto attempts to add depth to the monotony of things, but I’m already pulling the headphones out of my poor, ravaged, bleeding ears and starting to cry as the song enters its death-roes: a directionless lull in the “music” that steadily fades and then abruptly stops in a form of anti-climax hitherto only previously experienced at recent Patrick Wolf shows. I’ve already forgotten why I even bothered to listen to the original as I approach penning my thoughts on the cover. It was with such a reaction that I also greeted the news that the band I worship, hold in the greatest esteem, and proudly brag about never having made a dud record to all and sundry, Nine Inch Nails, had recorded a U2 cover. My jaw hit the floor as I fell to my hands and knees, begging Trent: "please, why would this happen?" All would be well I thought, my faith in Reznor’s decision-making, talent, and ability was far too great to crumble. It was going to surprise me, I decided. And boy, it did.

It’s been a long time since I’ve heard some new material from Nine Inch Nails, since I’ve even heard Trent’s voice, and I was amazed at how used to that sensation I had become. As I nervously pressed play on the not-as-good-quality-as-it-should-be stream floating about online, dreading the thought of hearing another U2 cover (let’s not forget, Trent’s been in Bono’s “ends” before along with Saul Williams as they made Sunday Bloody Sunday actually sound like the killer track it was meant to be), what greeted me was like being wrapped in the warmest, most welcoming blanket my ears had ever experienced. Ambient reverb filled the cavity between my ears as the dull, hypnotic muffled beat pacified me, lulling me into a trance with unnerving focus. I’m in the throes of a helpless love by the time Trent’s voice creeps through the ether and, just as my brain processes the words “I’m ready”, I’ve already decided: “I’m yours”.

As hilarious as it is to hear Reznor sing like Bono (it’s just so uplifting, and that feels so wrong, Trent), the song is totally captivating, and Reznor also manages, unlike U2, to make the song go somewhere. There is no abrupt end, no directionless lull in the music; just a consistent swelling growth to the music’s very foundations that, by the end of the song, has overwhelmed you so seamlessly that when it cuts, leaving you with its tattered remnants fading into the silence from whence it came, it is as though you've been pulled from a lake and can only now take a breath.

This isn’t a Nine Inch Nails record; it’s a Trent Reznor record. It lacks the fire and aggressiveness of a Nine Inch Nails song (remember when NIN covered Soft Cell?), but Trent is all too aware of that these days. That’s why he retired NIN (albeit temporarily) and what’s more, this song is by no means bad. Quite the opposite; it is very, very good. Which is really saying something given that this song was once a horrible fucking U2 song.

What is more exciting is what this points to: The Social Network’s soundtrack was phenomenal, but at times it was a positively re-engineered, enhanced take on Ghosts. Zoo Station meanwhile feels like a new song, and it’s one worth revelling in. Similarly, the snippets we've heard from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo soundtrack sound even more promising (positively euphoria-inducing, in fact). As if that weren’t enough, we have the promise of a new Nine Inch Nails record in 2012 alongside the debut LP of Reznor + Reznor (+ Ross) under the guise of happily-married über-duo group How to Destroy Angels, whose introductory EP demonstrated potential by the leather boot load. Reznor is consistently proving himself to be the de-facto master of his genre, and where age normally mellows a musician into irrelevance (Trent got that panic over and done with on With_Teeth), here we have an artist who is becoming increasingly perceptive and consistent in his delivery of incandescent music. As his contemporaries fall by the wayside, Reznor only seems to grow, aided by his perceptive understanding of how music is changing. The effect this has here is both amusing and ironic: Trent has covered a band that print money (and then don’t pay any tax on it), U2, as a sign of respect although all that has happened is that he has highlighted just how blatantly awful they are within a contemporary context. U2 are irrelevant. They’re a very lucrative piece of irrelevance, yes, but they are irrelevant nonetheless. Reznor and Nine Inch Nails, freed from the shackles of labels like “industrial” and “shock-rocker” (and indeed from labels of a more discographic nature), is more relevant than ever. It’s a great, great year to be Trent Reznor, and it’s an even better year to be a Nine Inch Nails fan.

On the flip side of the coin, it’s another dreadful year to be Bono.

  Nine Inch Nails - Zoo Station (U2 Cover)

Zoo Station features on Achtung Baby Covered that is, fittingly, stuck on the cover of this month's Q Magazine. As good a month as ever to buy the thing then.

Ben Cousens.