Then: November 12th 2001. Now: April 12th 2012.
Time flies when you're having fun and Andrew W.K.'s been doing that by the puke-laden bucketload ever since the release of I Get Wet over a decade ago. And, if the jovial, largely nonsensical and occasionally incomprehensible mood he's in today is anything to go by he'd be relishing a return to its puerile inanities and insistent prompting to party as temerariously as humanly possible. "Don't forget the full stops between the 'W' and the 'K'" he barks, his whisky-drunk drone stumbling out into the immaculate corridors of a featureless west London hotel. My palms coated in a patina of clammy perspiration and with my every muscle tensed (some more proverbially than others) the rife anxiety coursing through the forefront of my mind harks back to that ghastly delay that tends to precede any examinatory appointment. Mr. W.K. doesn't even faintly resemble any old hunchbacked stickler nor staunch square and indeed concealed behind not one but two pairs of shades any valid examination of the man himself is as absurd as the image he here purports.
And yet despite this infantile darkening of reality, or irrespective of his endless adamance in partying "hard", fast and always he paints an astute and eloquent self-portrait; perhaps the epitome of the learned, wearied and ultimately consummate educator everybody always longed for but that nobody ever had the privilege of attentively sitting before. Concerned with "guardian angels" yet in no way concerned by the failing, false economies of the Western world you sense he'd have little time for tenses nor declensions although were you to looking to enrol at the nonspecialist 'University of Life', here's its finest tutor. Most advanced learning institutions institutionalise partying to the point of "puke" anyway, right?
Thus with headbanging and hedonism here exchanged for divine, if a little existential rationale and the sort of lifestyle guidance every postgrad ravenously hungers for, without further hyperbole here's a discourse with the enigma that always was, is and always shall be Andrew W.K.
Dots: How're you doing?
Andrew W.K.: I'm doing very well; how are you?
Dashes: Feeling a bit worse for wear having heeded your decadent suggestions...
Andrew W.K.: You got those slim-cut jeans; the fuckin' striped top...
Dots: I'm shocked you can perceive that through two pairs of sunglasses...
Andrew W.K.: Well, you know, you look good.
Dashes: How much has changed since the release of I Get Wet, not just for you but in terms of how you perceive the music industry as a whole for instance?
Andrew W.K.: Partying is at the forefront. Joy is at the forefront. There's never been more celebration in music than now. There's never been more of a sense of excitement and culture than now. There's never been more music made about partying with a fuckin' four-to-the-floor beat than now. People are singing – finally – and using the word 'party'. Now. And I'm not the first one either. Outta respect for the Beastie Boys; outta respect for Judas Priest; outta respect for a whole long line - Elvis and Michael Jackson and everybody else: we're working our way into this new aeon. The age of the crowned and conquering child... child.. child. [W.K.'s voice diminishing into silence as if accompanying some melodramatic Hollywood-funded ad campaign].
Dots: Do you ever feel urged to pen new material?
Andrew W.K.: No [immutable resolution in his tone]. It's a tool. Once you invent the hammer you can say: 'Oh! What could I do? I could wrap, like, a piece of rubber round the end of the hammer!' 'Oh, why?' 'Because it helps you grip it better.' 'Oh, ok. Is that a new invention?' 'No; it's still a hammer.' Once you invent the hammer and once you have seized that power, you pound that fuckin' nail and that is it: game over.
[W.K. pounds fist on palm, seeping out a theatrical "Ow"]
Dashes: So you feel as though I Get Wet was a complete and consummate effort that you couldn't have bettered in any respect? There's nothing you'd have done differently?
Andrew W.K.: No.
Dots: My brother wasn't allowed to buy the record because of that notorious cover...
Andrew W.K.: He may have been too young, right?
Dashes: He was too young, right.
Andrew W.K.: That makes sense, 'cause I have not yet made a baby. I was made, as a baby. I grew up as a child actually. And my mom and dad, they formed me. They're my creators. Beyond the forces above and below that participated in that but uh... Outta respect for all folks out there who have made babies I would never, never speak on that. I can't. I just don't know. It's like if you never drank water you couldn't know what it's like.
Dots: I see you're today wearing your 'Party Hard' cap but have you had to tone down the intensity of your incessant partying over the course of the past decade?
Andrew W.K.: Actually, it's been the opposite. I've increased the level of partying as I've gone along: I've disturbed some folks along the way and some who are very close to me have been very worried; folks who have consumed a lot of their energy with thoughts about me and my welfare when all they have to do is do their own goddamn thing. And if everybody just did their own thing, the world would be full of a lot less... Pardon me..? A lot less conflict.
Dashes: Was it ever your intention to conjure conflict that otherwise may not have existed?
Andrew W.K.: I'm a force of goodwill and peace on this earth, and I have a lot of guardian angels – and one in particular – that've been watching out for me for a long time. And they've made all of this happen; I don't take credit for it. In 2005, when I signed up for this, I had big, big, BIG shoes to fill. I mean this is a size 12 shoe. If I wear four pairs of socks, I can fill these shoes. I mean I'm a 10/ 10½ at best so, you know, if you wear four fuckin' pairs of socks you will fill those fuckin' shoes and you will strut and you will march and you will do your damned thing. You can wave your arm and bang your head and all that good stuff. The good thing is that the outfit is easy. White jeans, white tee: do the damn thing. I learned from Birdman; I learned from Juicy J; Three 6 Mafia; DJ Paul: whaddup?
Dots: Aside from four pairs of socks and the off-white attire, what else do you feel is required for the quintessential 2k12 party?
Andrew W.K.: You have to listen very, very deeply to a voice that can barely be heard. And it's not just whispering from within yourself; it's whispering from the world around you. And if you have the courage... You know what, you don't even need to be that brave. 'Cause I was a fuckin' pussy. OK? I admit it: I was shy; I was scared of everything. But there was something inside of me that everybody else has and I know they have it that tells you what to do. That's your guardian angel. And if you could just listen to it and block out all the other bullshit, really, it's gonna send you on an adventure that really is the greatest experience you've ever had. You wanna talk about dreams coming true? That's the way. You're laughing...
Dashes: I am laughing...
Andrew W.K.: That's good! [Cackles erupt from the portal of wisdom located amidst the two-day stubble. And continue indefinitely]
Dots: Returning to the record in question, what sort of contemporary relevance do you think it holds?
Andrew W.K.: None. None whatsoever.
Dashes: What was the motivation to return to it therefore?
Andrew W.K.: It was ten years!
Dots: But you could've done that at five, or eleven, or fourteen years...
Andrew W.K.: I know but 10: that's a nice, round number. That's a beautiful number. That's the significance. You'd put that number up! After you've counted all the other digits, that's the main one that you'd return to after nine. Oh no pardon me: 9.8, 9.9, 10. Here it comes. Now, I admit: I made a bad choice. No, it's not a bad choice but a particular choice...
[Another lengthy pause, punctuated by the eager slapping of thighs and things]
Dashes: Which was..?
Andrew W.K.: When I moved to New York, I was eighteen years old. I had a very firm sense of what I wanted to do, I had very particular visions in my head. I wanted to play Rock 'n' Roll music and be a singer and do all the exciting stuff. 'Way hey let's have some fun.' And the good thing about New York is that there's folks there that can do that and... um... they gave me opportunities and I agreed to their requests. I didn't fully understand the ramifications of their requests but the good thing was that... uh... whatever I signed up to do, even when I fought against it, they had me. And at this point I'm thankful. I'm thankful to be alive; I'm thankful to have food; I'm thankful to have my mom and dad; I'm thankful to have my wife, my friends, my band and I think the cause that we're working towards is a good cause. I didn't always think that, but the last couple years it was explained to me that this is good and now, I'm sittin' in a warm chair. I'm sittin' in a real warm chair. It's the age of the individual: this is everybody's moment to realise their own destiny and I'm just doin' the same thing.
Dots: Speaking of individuals, many would have hangups or issues with being the centre of attention or indeed to even set foot onstage. Do you feel that there's a certain level that you have to perform to both on and off stage?
Andrew W.K.: That's an excellent question; an absolutely great question. When you're performing onstage, it's a culmination of an ego boost, right? Like you're saying: the spotlight; the glory. Folks have come out to see you and to see you present either something that you've created or something that you've been involved in. You know, some folks don't write their own songs but you're there to see them perform these songs. But at the same time it's humiliating. It's crushing; it's completely embarrassing: it's the combo of ego boost and ego death. And everybody should get to go through that in some form or another. But the thing is everybody is: you're performing right now. You chose how to present yourself; you're acting as yourself. The person reading this... or listening... Wait - is this... uh...
Dashes: Reading...
Andrew W.K.: Reading. OK. You invent an idea of who you are and that's necessary. No; crucial. Because if you don't have some kind of basic framework you can't perceive this version of the world. You have to have some kind of character built around your own consciousness so that you can experience this reality. But holy smokes it feels good to tear that fuckin' shit apart! You fuckin' claw the fuck away at that, right? And to be the performer, that lets everybody else do that but also himself or herself is torn away as well. And that's a great gift.
Dots: Do you think there is a stark differentiation between Andrew W.K. and...
Andrew W.K.: Eurgh. Hold on. Do you understand what I was just saying?
Dashes: Mostly...
Andrew W.K.: OK good. I'm gonna go get some water here; my voice is a little dry. We got plenty o' time; tons o' time [he hollers from the comfort of the en suite]. You ask as many more questions as you want...
Dashes: Do you think there is a stark differentiation between Andrew W.K. the performer and Andrew Fetterly Wilkes Krier?
Andrew W.K.: Absolutely not. That's the most disappointing and ridiculous idea: that there's a separation between what you want to do and what you are. It's all one and the same. There's no behind-the-scenes when it comes to yourself...
Dots: Presuming this is precisely what you want to be doing, has it proven difficult to recede out of the spotlight for a little while?
Andrew W.K.: That's just silliness; I'll never get caught up in that. That's like someone saying: 'Well, how could you eat cheese? Cheese is fattening.' Cheese tastes goddamn good: I'm gonna eat Irish cheddar; I'm gonna eat mature cheddar' I'm gonna eat very mature cheddar [sic]. That's nonsense; I don't play those games. I was taught very well by a man that goes by the name of... uh...
Dashes: I suppose the main attraction of music for most people is that it provides a form of escapism, whether that be afforded to the artist or to the audience in that they may then avoid certain realities. And I think that in the interim period between the release of I Get Wet and now things along the monotonous lines of economic turmoil yadda yadda yadda have begun to seep into society's modus operandi. Do people need to embrace the sort of, perhaps, frivolousness that your music reports?
[For the first occasion across the duration of our time together not one, but both sets of sunglasses are removed]
Andrew W.K.: You're very well spoken, and I know you've taken time to compose your questions and y... yo... you've a lotta confidence. And let me just commend you for that. But that's a fuckin' ridiculous question; you know it's a ridiculous question! Frivolousness! There's no part of the human experience, if it connects you to joy, that is anything other than godly. If you find joy, whether it's through laughter or a song or moving your body through space or food or drugs or whatever you wanna do, if you can find that joy and you can hold onto it and realise it and fathom it, then there's nothing about that that is anything less than godly. That is God. And you know it! And that's why it's so silly that you would ask me somethin' like that.
Dots: Sorry.
Andrew W.K.: I'm gonna put these back on now.
Dashes: I hope you don't take those off for everybody...
Andrew W.K.: Did somebody say New World Order? New World Order! I don't want that New World Order...
Dots: Over the past few years there've been bands reuniting and reforming...
Andrew W.K.: Pixies [the name seeping out from a veil of sigh].
Dashes: Well that's a good example but there's plenty of worse ones...
Andrew W.K.: Pixies man... If Deee-Lite would reform... Holy fuckin' smokes then I would be in Heaven. Goddamnit why can't they reform? They're all there. They're all sittin' there! I don't mean sitting there like they're inactive; they're all there. Would Deee-Lite please reform? One of the greatest musical accomplishments is World Clique.
Dots: To revert to the Pixies and to when Frank Black came out and said that they were only in it for the money, do you feel as though that's an acceptable comment?
Andrew W.K.: I think they're probably joking. And even if they weren't and they just wanted to make a bunch of money well hey, they earned it! 'Cause that is tremendous music! Doolittle is as good as life gets. To sit in a warm chair, and listen to Doolittle - that's joy. That's joy. You understand what joy is?
Dashes: Well I don't know - I think there's lots of variations on that theme...
Andrew W.K.: You've never experienced joy? It doesn't sound like it...
Dots: I've experienced joy intermittently throughout this interview...
Andrew W.K.: OK well I hope so - that's what I'm here to try and offer. You ever eat cheese?
Dashes: I have eaten cheese.
Andrew W.K.: A strong, mature cheddar?
Dots: Extra mature, yeah.
Andrew W.K.: And was it good?
Dashes: I'd say it was, yeah.
Andrew W.K.: And you like music?
Dots: More or less, yeah.
Andrew W.K.: And you like these boots? Slim jeans? Joy is what we're tryin' to get at; we're trying to stay close to joy. [The glasses are again removed] People are gonna die. You know, we're both gonna go through a bunch o' bad shit and all we're tryin' to do both before and after that happens is to stay close to joy! Rock 'n' Roll is a very powerful source of joy and because it's so intense, because it's so intense people try to distance themselves from it and talk and beat around the fuckin' bush, right? The point is if you feel anything from music, or if you feel anything from anything then you hold onto that with all that you possibly can. That's all that I'm here to do; that's all that I hope you're tryin' to do. Anything else is not that difficult.
Dashes: I suppose finances come into things...
[Head sinks into gaping hands]
Andrew W.K.: Finance [he dispiritedly groans]. I got nothing to do with that feeling 'cause you can find joy in a person that has no money in a situation where there's no money. Joy is a human experience; it's what makes someone a person versus an animal. A human being is not a person, OK? A person is a human being who has realised that they're a person. And how do you realise that? Through joy; through preference; through choices; through finding value in your experience; through making decisions about what you want to do with your time before you die. And here's this strange, crazy thing called rock music. Or called music at all. Frequencies, these strange notes and melodies and you organise them in a certain way to make your body feel a certain way. You think J.S. Bach was, like, some fluke? And now they go back on.
Dots: Spirituality seems to have seeped into this conversation. Would you consider yourself a spiritual being?
Andrew W.K.: No.
Dashes: Are you a religious man?
Andrew W.K.: No. I have a guardian angel, and I have been working very hard to have full communication with that. And I hope to someday get there. But I have such deep gratitude for what it has done. And when I say 'it' I mean that in the highest and most respectful form. I have been blessed by forces that are both above and below and I do my utmost to just further this cause. I really, really want to do a good job with this. Because the odds of things lining up for me as they have... I didn't know the members of my band until we filmed our music video, OK? In the grand scheme of things that is trivial. And it should be; that's humbling for me. That's good. But if I look at it from another angle, it's a miracle. And I wouldn't have believed in miracles were it not a miracle that this all happened. And I'm tryin' to make the most of that and use that to bring some kind of...
Dots: Joy..?
Andrew W.K.: Good feeling into the world. I really just wanna bring a good feeling before I go.
Dashes: And that's it?
Andrew W.K.: No; that's not it! I'm still goin'! Well no wait I meant I'm playing a show tomorrow night. I'm not done right here, right now...
Dots: Are these shows still exciting for you?
Andrew W.K.: The longer it goes, the better it gets. Like everything, it gets better with age: aged steak, aged whisky... It is; it really is. Some things you really appreciate more with time and... uh... if it can be your own life, that's a blessing.
Dashes: Good luck with the show.
Andrew W.K.: I don't need any good luck; I've got my guardian angel.
Yet another quasi-motivational performance down, the tape ceases to chug. "I threw some real shit at you back there", he candidly confesses prior to urging assurance that his words aren't to be minced nor mangled. Such timidity intimates all may not be as it'd appear according to the elements of our encounter that smack of theatrical performance: the schizophrenic outbursts in the bathroom; other infrequent nods toward a more severe psychosis. However there's an articulate if innocent and quite childlike "person" behind the brazen rockstar exterior and whilst his eyes, the gateway to his self-helped soul (to further wear down the already-threadbare cliché) may be enveloped by darkened glass W.K. is impossible to interpret. Is he double-bluffing? Perhaps. Although even over ten years later the arguably impeccably cultivated persona remains flawlessly maintained.
Andrew W.K. was sat in the K West Hotel & Spa in two pairs of Oakley's ahead of a show at the HMV Forum the following evening.
Andrew W.K. was sat in the K West Hotel & Spa in two pairs of Oakley's ahead of a show at the HMV Forum the following evening.
